'A
mobster who is Count Dracula (Robert
Pastorelli) is hiding in Los Angeles
running a hideous club scene full of
sleazy and perverted vampires as one of
them is on the streets named Nico
(Natasha Gregson Wagner) who is a
bisexual vampiress prostitute and is
picking up men and women to drink their
blood which enrages the Count but what
makes him more unhappy is that Dallas
(Casper Van Dien), a youthful undead and
former protégé, is in town and becomes
a victim for Nico and then become lovers
as the Count tries to get him to kill her
and he refuses.
Another problem is there's a vampire
slayer named Dr. Frederick Van Helsing
(Rod Steiger) arrives in L.A. and hires a
gang of Crips lead by a dude named Time
Bomb (Gabriel Casseus) to hunt down and
kill these vampires.
They're
soon following Nico and Dallas. When they
capture her, Dallas wants to deal: spare
Nico and he'll lead the hunters to
Dracula. It's time for stake and bake.
Watching this
nearly plotless flick was pure agony and
torture in a cross ripoff between Innocent
Blood and Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. I couldn't tell
if this was mainly a dark comedy with
horror elements or a comedy horror as
they made the story very awkward and way
too slapstick.
The story happens way too fast as you
don't know most of the reason behind this
other than it's about a mobster of
vampires and a vampire slayer wants to do
away with all of them and hires some
dimwit to help him out.
Although the budget is descent for a low
budgeter you would want to avoid this one
at all costs.
The acting is in
very bad shape with wasteless talent.
Rod Steiger was overly annoying as a
vampire slayer that you'd just want to
shoot him.
Kim Cattrall tries her best playing
a vampiress but isn't too convincing with
her accent that she used for this flick.
Robert Pastorelli seemed a little
too goofy as a mobster type count in the
film but has the good evil looks to him.
Who the hell hired Gabriel Casseus as
a member of the Crips to track some
vampires down. He did nothing for the
film at all and was too bland.
However, Craig Fergusson came
across quite nicely with his humorous
timing as one of the main vampires in the
film.
Natasha Gregson Wagner seemed to
stand out nicely as a vampiress
prostitute.
Lots of boobs on
vampiresses in a sleazy bar along with a
butt shot on a guy too there.
Natasha
Gregson Wagner shows it off in a
bathtub as well as a lustful scene and
having her breasts fully exposed
afterwards.
There's
neck bitins with blood flowing down
Decapitated head
Stakes through the hearts
Richard Elfman
really rushes his directing with
this piece and makes it way too corny as
well. There's a scene with Rod
Steiger and Gabriel Casseus
against Udo Kier lying on a bed
about to be sacrificed but it looks
extremely slacking but there are good
wide eyed and fang shots on Kier.
There's is an interesting scene between Casper
Van Dien and Natasha Gregson
Wagner biting each others necks and
drinking each others blood in a car along
with their dialogues together.
We have a hokey scene with Kim
Cattrall bathing Wagner
which looked quite stupid.
We spot a hilarious moment with Wagner
viciously attacking bit part actress
Roberta Hanley as a saleslady in
a clothing store.
Nice shot on Wagner shooting
with her gun in a junkyard.
Good close up shots on a lustful moment
between Wagner and Dien.
There's a scene with Wagner in a motor
home trailer having a dysfunctional
discussion with her family played by Conchata
Ferrell as her mom and Brent
Briscoe as her stepdad but it
doesn't look at all believeable.
We do spot some slapstick action with
some vampire slaying and gunfighting in a
vampire bar but nothing too special
there.
Nope the direction really lacked and was
tough to review as it was extremely
rushed in many spots of the film.
We have some old fashioned
classical piano and violin playing as
well as the odd guitar sounds all
composed by Michael Wandmacher
but it didn't do anything for the film at
all.
|
