The Lost Boys (1987)

A divorced mother named Lucy Emerson (Dianne West) and her kids named Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim) moves away from their hometown Phoenix, Arizona to Santa Clara to move in with Lucy's eccentric father (Barnard Hughes).

While they are there, Michael hangs out at a carnival near a beach where he encounters the girl of his dreams named Star (Jami Gertz) whom is with a gang of bikers lead by a guy named David (Kiefer Sutherland) who seem to cause trouble wherever they go.
Meanwhile, his younger brother Sam is browsing a comic book store and meets up with two strange siblings named Edgar (Corey Feldman) and Alan (Jamison Newlander) whom claim to be vampire slayers and tries to encoutrage him to read a vampire comic book to assure his safety while living there.

Well one day Michael is invited by David to their cave for a night of fun while Star is with them.
He offers Michael a wine bottle which is blood and Michael drinks a bit of it. Then Michael feels different as he sleeps in late and craves for human blood himself.

Sam tries to support his brother while reading through the vampire comic book on how to help him as in order for Michael to become normal again he has to kill the vampire leader.
He brings Edgar and Alan along to try and help him with this case.
Meanwhile, their mother meets a local there named Max (Edward Hermann) as she invites him over to her house for dinner but while reading the comic there are signs that he's also a possible vampire as his dog nearly attacks his mother.

The film leaves off to a nice start with the opening credits zooming over an ocean and then showing a theme park along with wild teens hanging out as well as some punks lead by David hanging out near a merry go round and causing trouble with other such as trying to pick up someone's girlfriend and the boyfriend nearly getting into a fight with them. Next, the security guard kicks David and his gang off and then the terror certainly starts for this poor security guard while he is attacked by something in the air but it's not revelaed till halfway through the story as I found this clever to keep this part an unsolved mystery.
Then the next day starts off impressively with the Emerson family driving into California and spotting the wild people hanging out which seemed to be a nice drawing card to the story along with some good humor too. Then the family enters Grandpa's house and he seems to have passed out on the front porch and gets up. I just thought to myself what a strange man as well as the creepy surroundings of his house in which you can tell that he was once a hippie.
Another nice story to this film is when young Sammy enters a comic store with Edgar and Alan Frog talking to him and trying to encourage him to read a vampire comic book in which Sam tells him he's not into horror comics which I totally understand his situation as many people are terrified of horror films, books or even comic books. It seems to work well with them warning him about the vampire's in their small town. You kinda wonder to yourself though if they really know that there's vampire's in the area or are they hoping to have some so they can gain experience by slaying them in which they offer Sam a free comic with their number on it as a survival guide. It just seemed pretty twisted but in a really fun way.
Of course in the story we spot the couple that these punks messed with on the merry go round having a good romp in their vehicle and then another mysterious attack in which this looked more exciting to watch.
I do love a moment when David and his gang enter a video rental store with the onwer named Max not happy with them coming in as it leaves you a cringing moment that they're there to cause trouble. Then he meets Lucy Emerson telling him that everyone was like that at a young age one time or another but having different fashions in which it does take anyone back to memory lane being rebellious at one point or another and then growing up and leading a better life.
Then Michael spots a beautiful girl named Star in which this seems to remind anyone of their love at first site but she seems to tag along with that biker David and then later on we spot some good scene's with them finally communicating with one another giving you a good feeling that he finally got to talk to her only later on to be cornered by David and his bikers with David demanding Star to get going with him as the writing for this seemed darkly done and made in a good fashion.
The fun really gets going is when they motorbike away and Michael has to catch up in the mist as you just wanna join them it looked that fun and entertaining as well later on Michael almost falls off a cliff near a rocky ocean and punching David in the face for this challenging him to a fight. Here you wonder if they will scrap it out or not.
Then they enter their home which is a cave and there's surfboards and even a poster of Jim Morrison making myself think that it can't get any better than this along with them eating chinese food in those special boxes for a delivery take out in which it is not so common where I live in Canada. DAMN! The hallucinations can trip you out when David teases Michael on him eating maggots that's supposed to be rice and then he spots the maggots which looked pretty gross and then later on he spots that his spilled box is actually rice showing that vampire's can play tricks on others as this is just who they are. Then the time when Michael drinks a bottle of blood worked well in which the story somehwat almost had a gothic type of feel to it. All of this was well written in.
What is one of my most favourite scene's is when Michael, David and the gang go to a railway bridge and hang onto some handlebars while a passenger train rolls by and all of them fall into some mist and Michael is the only one left trying to struggle to get up and falls in which this keeps you in suspense by what's going to happen next. All in all this was exciting to watch making me want to watch more on what's going to happen.
More suspense adds up later on when Michael realises David and his bikers seem to be rolling up to his home with lights on their bikes glaring at the house and then when he opens the door nothing is there and it's very quiet which is certainly spooky but what's spookier is when Michael almost turns and is about to attack his brother Sam and later on Sam realises that he's a creature of the night just like what is written in the comic book when his reflection doesn't show in the mirror with him running away saying "Wait till I tell Mom!" This of course isn't common in a vampire film offering dark comedy. It seems to run well though.
There's also great moments when Michael's body rises up from his bed and can't control flying away and trying to cry to Sam with him freaking out but yet it is touching when Michael tries to ask for sympathy telling him that he's his brother in which worked perfectly as a family trying to stick together and help one another out on how to overcome this madness.
What really works well and gothic like is when David goes by an old tree to show Michael who he is while attacking beach bum victims dancing around in the sand near a bonfire as the writing for this looked incredibly powerful.
A great suspenseful moment is when Lucy goes to Max's door to try and apologise for running out on their dinner date and his dog is about to attack her in which you wonder if she will get away or not since the dog was really lunging big time and what made this moment show good timing is when Sam is in the car and turns the page of the comic book he's reading showing the hounds of hell as this makes you jump in suspense when this dog is attacking. At the same time the dog didn't look monstrous like the one's in the comic book which kinda seemed a bit funny.
There's witty moments when Edgar and Alan stay for dinner when Lucy invites Max to her home while they try to find any way if he's a head vampire or not as this can be embarrassing when someone tries too hard when you find someone you are in love with wondering if he will walk out and never come back again.
There's other moments when Michael and the rest are in a vehicle and Grandpa stops them asking a question in which you wonder if they're gonna get caught red handed but asks them about a different situation which has to do with laoding the vheicle with gas when it's almost out which I was thinking this is as corny as it gets.
Later on when they enter the cave and spot the vampire's sleeping upside down. Then Edgar decides to slay one of them is a real stupid move cause there's more that can get him and kill him since it will wake up the whole bunch of them. It goes to show how inexperienced Edgar is and learning from his mistakes as well as luckily they escaped the cave without getting hurt or killed since it was still daylight and vampire's can't come out in the day.
The terror happens big time since David and his gang fly to the home but everyone is ready for them with traps in which there's even a comedic moment with Edgar, Alan and Sam going to a church to grab holy water. This seemed cleverly done. Also it's scary as Sam is running to get their dog and the vampire's are closing in on them. It will get your heart pounding hioping he will get in the house in time. Alot of damage in the house is done which can make you gasp with alot of expensive stuff destroyed including a stereo being damaged while a vampire is electrocuted by it. Many good effects were used throughout this whole battle inclduing Michael's face changing into a vampire with fangs battling David in mid air of the house. This was for sure a classic wondering who will win or not. But the near ending I won't spoil for anyone. However, it almost seemed fairly obvious. The very ending is quite mysterious too.
Bottom line is this was one of the first horror films I enjoyed when I was 17 years of age as at the time I didn't like horror flicks. The film was a real appeal to me as it was about teenage vampires.It's both comedic and although not terribly scary but alot of suspenseful action.
Pretty much a parody on vampire movies but a great one to watch.
Alot of rumors floated that a sequel would aride but didn't until 21 years later in which it was even more corny. Still it was great that the stories continued.

The acting is terrific with full of talented people. Jason Patric (Michael Emerson) totally stole the film with his performance in it showing a ton of great energy and characteristics. He really knew on how to act aggressive whenever he needed to as well as his tiredness after becoming a half vampire during a sunny day. Plus shows a great slick attitude too in many spots with the film. He totally studied this role in which I was convinced that no one could've done this better than him. It's not surprising that he went far in life and this was the perfect film to give a boost to a futuristic mainstream acting career.
Corey Haim (Sam Emerson) was another fine character actor portraying a good kid next door type of personality as he shows alot of good spunk into what he did in the film. Plus has a nice innocence to his role too. He also does well with his humoress attitude while being scared about the vampires that are happening in his town in which he proves to be quite a ham in his role. Bless his soul as he will be greatly missed.
Dianne West (Lucy Emerson) really came across nicely as a former hippie and now a mother of two. She studied her part well as someone who knows on how to act protective as well as someone way too open minded. She has that innocent elderly type of look to her along with a nice high pitched type of speaking too.
Barnard Hughes (Grandpa) was another nice character actor and a ham in his role as someone you'd totally picture as someone eccentric. He really brings a good youth at heart to his part in the film showing a nice energetic behavior into what he did in it. He shows good timing in the black comedy used in this film.
Edward Hermann (Max) is so deceiving as he looks innocent and dweeby as a middle aged man but towards the end he really knows how to change that making him a believeable vampire leader. He shows a nice charming and sympathetic behavior in his role and shows some good wit into his character too along with being serious whenever he needed to.
Kiefer Sutherland (David) was terrific as the supposed head vampire with his serious and sarcastic attitude and is very frightening in his role. He shows a good coldness to what he does portraying one of those typical punks who likes to torment or tease others. Plus he was great at showing his rage when he is about to attack someone or act vengeful too. There's no one else like this guy I can tell you that.
Jami Gertz (Star) has the beautiful looks and the true talent as a half vampiress named Star making you really wanting to protect her from danger and shows that she is sweet and caring too. She does well with her mellow attitude and soft speaking coming across as someone who is very understanding and easy going.
Corey Feldman (Edgar Frog) was a nice drawing card to his part really making himself believeably dinwitted as a wannabe vampire slayer. He shows a good seriousness and eccentric behavior to everything which looked humoress at the same time. He seems like one of those imaginative types and it was no doubt that he was an icon in this movie porving to be another ham in the flick.
Jamison Newlander (Alan Frog) was another fine one with a slick serious attitude and came across believeable as another wannabe eccentric vampire slayer with almost a sneering like expressions and a great seriousness to his role. I did like his characteristics very much in the film.
Brooke McCarter (Paul) had a nice supporting role as a vampire punk in which he really looked believeably tough and nasty with everything that he did showing a perfect rage too with a ton of energy. He was total dynamite into what he did even if he didn't have alot of lines in this flick. He just came across perfectly onto the camera which is all that matters.

Michael's hand is bitten by his dog.
A bunch of beach bum's are eaten by vampires like a bite in the head and throat but it happens very quick.
A stake is driven through the youngest vampire's heart and sticky blood spills out.
Another vampire is pushed into a bathtub of garlic and holy water and he melts.
David the second head vampire is impaled by giant antlers.

Joel Schumacher's directing is a classic in which he really knew on how to work with his cast members very strongly. There's nice shots on the supporting cast like Kiefer Sutherland, Brooke McCarter, Billy Wirth and Alex Winter entering a merry go round looking around which looked well done as troublemakers getting into mischief as well as a nice moment on Sutherland trying to hit on supporting actress Nori Margan with her reacting unhappy and a good aggressive approach by Alexander Bacon Chapman attacking him showing good energy along with a nice approach by bit part actor J. Dinan Myrtetus breaking it up and getting physical towards the supporting cast booting them off making it look natural.
There's a nice distance camera shot closing in on Myrtetus panicking and running to his car as well as a nice upfront shot on him being pulled up in the air showing a nice suspenseful direction on all of this.
There's a nice shot on supporting actor Barnard Hughes sleeping on the floor of his front house as well as him getting up and showing the main cast around his house as well as nice shots on Jason Patric and Corey Haim showing gestures towards each other after what they discover in his home.
There's a good moment with Patric and Haim wandering around a fair as well as a good shot on Patric staring at Jami Gertz as well as a good camera shot on her smiling back along with a good moment on her going on the backseat with Sutherland as well as him showing a stuck up expression as this looked impressive.
There's good shots on Haim browsing around a comic book area as well as nice approaches by Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander talking to him and tempting him with a vampire comic book along with them getting cocky with him as this all looked quite impressive.
A good unimpressed reaction with Edward Hermann while Sutherland and his gang enter his stor acting cool about stuff along with him sternly telling them to leave as this was crisply directed.
Schumacher shows a nice effective dialogue with Patric trying to talk to Gertz in which it flows well about them walking together and communicating with one another as well as acting lighthearted about it all. THere's also a nice shot on the cast like Sutherland and his gang cornering all of them with their motorbikes. Sutherland does a good job insisiting to Getz to go with him in a good serious manner. Sutherland also brings a nice coldness towards Patric to catch up with them which looked fairly energised.
Schumacher shows great scenes with the motorbikes racing when Patric's character tries to catch up with them with the fog flying into them as this looked very adventureous on how he coached everyone doing this.
There's a great shot on Patric getting off his motorike with a good shot on him punching Sutherland in the face and challenging him which looked intensely energised.
Hughes does a nice cackly laughter creeping up behind both Haim and West in which they react well by jumping.
Sutherland directs everyone terrifically while going into a cave with Sutherland getting sarcastic towards Patric while they eat chinese food in which this looked believeable that he's being a dickhead. There's also a great reaction on Patric while spitting out food thinking they're maggots acting believeable and energetic as well as good close up shots on the other cast members laughing. Getz does a good job defending him in a good soft tone.
A nice close up shot on Sutherland handing Patric a bottole of blood with a nice slick speaking on him while handing it to him as well as a good shot on Patric swigging a drink from it. Then many good shots on the supporting cast cheering and jumping in the air.
There's a nice shot on the cast motorbiking at a train bridge as well as them jumping down below with a great camera shot on them holding onto some railbars. Nice shots on them clinging to the railbar with a train rolling by as well as nice intense reactions on Patric when this happens along with the other cast letting go and falling down. This was highly energised.
A great shot on Patric trying to struggle himself by climbing back up as well as good shots on his fingers letting go of the railbar and a nice shot on him falling down in mist screaming which looked well intense.
There's good excited expressions on Patric and Haim running near a front door with nice shots on motorbike lights shining on them and through the windows of the house as this was creepily directed.
Patric does well silently speaking towards Haim to take his bath in which Schumacher really coached him well sounding very coldlike.
A nice close up shot on Patric taking out a milk carton as well as him groaning in pain and falling down which looked believeable as if he really was in pain. A good shot on him with a good evil expression walking into a bathroom and a good shot on their dog sneering and leaping on him.
Haim does well getting anxious towards Patric after spotting a mirror and running away as it was at a good tense pace.
Patric does well screaming and panicking while he is dragged out a window as well as a nice moment on Haim freaking out along with a natural panicking attitude trying to make a phone call. There's also a great anxious attitude on West talking on the other line which looked natural. Patric does well trying to plead to Haim as this looked good and emotional on how he was coached to do this.
West does a good job scolding both Patric and Haim on what has happened which looked like a believeable motherly lecture.
West does well panicking while trying to run away from a dog viciously chasing after her in which there's great suspenseful camera shots on all of this.
Haim does well energetically talking on the phone as well as a good reaction on Feldman speaking back on the other line as to what has happened showing some good slapstick direction on this.
There's a good approach by Hermann at the door with a good slick reaction by Patric acting cool about it all as Schumacher made this piece look impressive.
Hermann does a good job choking on some garlic that was served to him while eating pasta as well as Haim getting excited asking him if he hates garlic as this showed nice timing. There's also good moments when Haim, Sutherland and Newlander scramble out of their table while the power is turned off along with a good shot on Haim pointing a mirror towards Hermann with him jumping after spotting his reflection which was done in good humoress taste on how the direction was put into all of this.
Schumacher really did a superb job with Sutherland standing near a cliff with a wicked looking old tree talking to Patric by what's going to happen as well as great close up shots on Sutherland with his supporting actors showing fangs and then attacking which looked highly energised and good fast action close up camera shots on the attacking scene's. Then Sutherland does well coming up to Patric explaining who he is now sounding good and dark with how this moment was directed.
There's a good sympathetic behavior by Gertz when Patric enters the cave as well as many great lustful camera takes between the two of them.
There's a good dialogue between Patric and Gertz in a bedroom having a discussion as well as a good energetic moment and shot on Haim hiding underneath the covers of his bed freaking out. Yet it's a bit over the top at the same time.
There's a good discussion with Patric trying to talk to Haim about what they're getting themselves into which looked convincing. Also a nice aggressive moment with Feldman towards Patric on pulling off any stunts looking quite tongue in cheek on how he was directed.
A nice shot on Feldman spotting Gertz sleeping in a cave as well as a good aggressive reaction on Patric running towards her in which this looked terrifically directed too.
There's a good shot on Feldman driving a stake through Alex Winters heart while sleeping upside down as well as showing great close up shots on the rest waking up and screaming wickedly. There's a great shot on Sutherland trying to grab Haim's foot and him struggling to try and get away which looked energised.
There's good shots and moments with the cast like Haim, Feldman and Newlander getting a house ready with traps.
There's a nice camera shot in the air with Haim trying to lock a gate and trying to run into the house along with cast members like Gertz and Chance Michael Corbitt calling out to him to hurry up which looked highly energised.
There's a good moment with Feldman losing control trying to attack Gertz with her getting scared and trying to run away.
There's a great apporach by McCarter plunging in yelling towards Haim, Feldman and Newlander grabbing their crucifixe's and throwing them away as well as really getting into his vengeful attitude thanks to Schumacher's work on him by having him seem invincible. There's a nice shot on a dog jumping on him with him falling into a tub with garlic and holy water as well as great intense reactions on him while he is in the tub.
There's a good shot on Corbitt tearing out from a bed showing vampire feature's and running wild with Feldman and Newlander trying to chase after him and Gertz holding him back trying to defend him as this seemed impressive too.
There's a great shot on Wirth falling back and being electrecuted by a stereo in which he reacts well to this trembling and shaking.
Schumacher also shows many great battles between Sutherland and Patric throwing one another showing good timing on a deadly battle.
Patric does well hiding near a corner talking to Haim breathing intensely and not feeling well which was very energised.

Oh yesss! I loved the music to this film as it's magnificient by Thomas Newman as he has great action sounds to his flick that will appeal to young adults too. The music sounds were low sounding and there's also good beating sounds and other types of effects which fits every plot used in the film.

I loved the soundtrack album alot as we have an opening song by Gerard McMann with his Ozzy Osbourne like vocals on "Cry Little Sister" which was used in a sex scene by Patric and Gertz's scene together in the cave as well as the vampire battle scene between Sutherland and Patric. The song was perfect and gothic like making it a traiditional songtrack for this film.
We also have a cover song by the group Echo & the Bunnymen with "People Are Strange" as they almost sound as good as the Doors as it was used for a brief moment during the closing credits as well as showing areas in the wild areas of California making this song really fit in.
Another great stompin' tune during the bike chasing scene with Lou Gramm's classic "Lost in the Shadows"in which the backing vocals sounded very high pitched and really energetic along with the lead vocals used. Plus there's great drum beats and synthesizer music too. It was one of my favourite songs of all.
Another favourite is Eddie and the Tide's "Power Play" as this was shown on a TV at a rental store performing blending in terrifically well with the singer having a good funky beat to his R&B singing along with terrific saxophone music too.
There's another cover tune performed by former The Who rocker Roger Daltrey with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" which was during the closing credits as well in which he shows great emotions while singing it along with nice keyboard and synthesizer playing making it sound quite touching. A beautiful song no matter who performes it other than Elton John.
We also have the main hit song on this movie by INXS with Jimmy Barnes titled "Good Times" as it was played briefly when a vampire gets electrocuted by a home stereo and has a stake through his heart. There's great energetic singing by the two singers for this one really making it work for what happens here.

[about grampa]
Michael Emerson: Looks like he's dead!
Sam Emerson: If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?

Grandpa: Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my rootbeers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.

Sam Emerson: There's no TV! Have you seen a TV Mike? I haven't seen a TV. Do you know what it means when there's no TV? - No MTV!

Grandpa: If you read the T.V. Guide, you don't need a T.V.

Michael: [looking inside Grandpa's work-room] Talk about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Sam Emerson: Are you freebasing, Michael? Inquiring minds want to know.

Grandpa: Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave?
Sam Emerson: How about some Windex, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.
Michael Emerson: You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?
Grandpa: I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.
Michael Emerson: What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?

Sam Emerson: So where're we going?
Michael Emerson: Nowhere.
Sam Emerson: So what's the rush? You're chasing that girl aren't you? Come on, admit it. I'm at the mercy of your sex glands, bud.

Sam Emerson: Got a problem, guys?
Edgar Frog: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
Sam Emerson: Pretty cool, huh?
Alan Frog: For a fashion victim.

Edgar Frog: Where the hell are you from? Krypton?

Edgar Frog: You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something, you don't know shit, buddy.
Alan Frog: Yeah? You think we just work at a comic book store for our folks, huh?
Sam Emerson: Actually I thought it was a bakery.
Edgar Frog: This is just a cover, we're dedicated to a higher purpose. We're fighters for truth, justice, and the American way.

Alan Frog: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?
Sam Emerson: No, it's actually a pretty cool place... if you're a Martian!
Edgar Frog: Or, a vampire!
Sam Emerson: You guys sniffin' on newsprint or somethin'?

Alan Frog: There's our number on the back. And pray you never need to call us.
Sam Emerson: I'll pray I never need to call you.

David: What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?

David: How are those maggots?
Michael Emerson: Huh?
David: Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?

David: [offering Michael a drink of blood] Come on, be one of us.

David: Michael wants to know what's going on. Marco, what's going on?
Marko: I don't know. What's going on, Paul?
Paul: Wait a minute. Who wants to know?
Dwayne: Michael wants to know.

Sam Emerson: Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire.

Sam Emerson: My own brother a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire! Oh, you wait 'til mom finds out buddy.

Edgar Frog: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, all day.
Alan Frog: Does the sunlight freak him out?
Sam Emerson: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
Edgar Frog: Bad breath, long fingernails?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath though.
Alan Frog: He's a vampire all right.
Edgar Frog: All right, here's what you do, get your self a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
Sam Emerson: I can't do that, he's my brother.
Alan Frog: OK, we'll come over and do it for you.
Sam Emerson: No!
Edgar Frog: You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.

Sam Emerson: And then his dog started chasing my mom like the hounds of hell in "Vampires Everywhere."
Edgar Frog: We've been aware there's some very serious vampire activity in this town for some time.
Alan Frog: Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead.
Edgar Frog: As a matter of fact, we're almost certain ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at city hall.
Alan Frog: Kill your brother, you'll feel better.

David: Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You'll never grow old, Michael, and you'll never die. But you must feed!

Sam Emerson: Don't kill me, Mike. I'm basically a good kid.

Sam Emerson: [about Star] It's that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of them?
[Star floats up]
Sam Emerson: She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike.

Michael: What's happening to me, Star?
Star: Oh, Michael. Michael I can't tell you. I don't know how to help you.
Michael: What's happening?
Star: [whispers] I can't.

Sam Emerson: I bet you hate garlic, dontcha!
Max: No, I like garlic! It's just a little much! It's raw garlic.

Michael Emerson: Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam, these guys are brutal killers.
Sam Emerson: So are the Frog brothers!

Edgar Frog: If you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it!
Sam Emerson: Chill out Edgar.
Edgar Frog: [coming to his senses] Right.

Alan Frog: Holy shit, vampire hotel.

Alan Frog: Aaaaaah! Flies!
Edgar Frog: We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns. Come on.

Sam Emerson: What's that smell?
Edgar Frog: Vampires, my friend, vampires.

Edgar Frog: The bloodsucking Brady Bunch!

Alan Frog: We blew it, man, we lost it!
Edgar Frog: Shut up!
Alan Frog: We unraveled in the face of the enemy!
Edgar Frog: It's not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us. They opened their eyes and talked.

Alan Frog: We don't ride with vampires.
Sam Emerson: Fine, stay here.
Edgar Frog: We do now.
Alan Frog: Yeah.

Edgar Frog: Come on Sam, let's get out of here. Burn rubber!
[the car accelerates, almost driving over a cliff]
Edgar Frog: Christ!
Sam Emerson: Burn rubber does not mean warp speed!

Sam Emerson: Guys, we're on our own.
Edgar Frog: Good, just the way we like it.

Grandpa: Do you know the rule about filling up the car with gas when you take it without asking?
Michael Emerson: No, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Well, now you do.

Edgar Frog: I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.

Paul: You killed Marko!
Edgar Frog: Yeah, and you're next!
Paul: No, you're next!
[Paul sees garlic in the bathtub]
Paul: Haha! Garlic don't work, boys!
Edgar Frog: TRY THE HOLY WATER, DEATH BREATH!

Edgar Frog: Are you OK?
Sam Emerson: I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.
Alan Frog: All right, Sambo!
Edgar Frog: We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister.
Alan Frog: Totally annihilated his night-stalking ass!
Edgar Frog: Well, Nanook helped a little.
Alan Frog: Death to all vampires!
Edgar Frog: Maximum body count!
Edgar Frog: We're awesome monster bashers!
Alan Frog: The meanest!
Edgar Frog: The baddest!

Alan Frog: Holy Shit! It's the attack of Eddie Munster!

Dwayne: [standing up after almost getting hit by bow and arrow] You missed, sucker!
Sam Emerson: Only once, pal.

Sam Emerson: Death by stereo!

David: It is too late, my blood is in your veins.
Michael Emerson: So is mine!

David: Initiation's over, Michael. Time to join the club!

Max: Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy. It renders you powerless.
Sam Emerson: Did you know that?
Edgar Frog: Of course. Everyone knows that.

[Max changes into a vampire]
Max: I still want you, Lucy.
[he flashes his tongue out and Sam and Lucy scream while the rest gasp]
Max: I haven't changed my mind about that.

Max: [reaches for Lucy's hand while strangling Sam] Don't fight, Lucy. It's so much better if you don't fight.
Sam Emerson: Mom! Mom, No! Don't do it, Mom! Mom, don't do it!
Lucy Emerson: Sam...
Sam Emerson: Mom, No!
[Lucy reluctantly decides to abandon her humanity by taking Max's hand]
Sam Emerson: Mom, no!
Lucy Emerson: Sam!
[Max attempts to bite her]

Grandpa: One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.